Where's "My Life"?

One evening, I sat down thinking how long I have come, what "I was" and what "I am" and stopped at the question --- "Am I doing what -- I -- want to do?", the answer was "not everything I do is what I want to do", which led me to another question, "Where's -- My -- Life?". To seek the answer, I started out evaluating my life 5 years at a time, starting from the day I was born. Here's the train of my thoughts...

Age 0 to 5 -  For the first 5 years of my life I slept when I wanted to, ate when I wanted, played when I wanted. My home was my world. Everyone I knew, my parents, my grand parents were all special, the person I was with, was the most important at that moment in time. I tore up news papers, broke my toys, learned to stand and walk, learned to talk, learned that I can attract attention by throwing a tantrum, realized that I can melt mom, but dad was tougher. I learned to use my mother's lap as my bed, learned to make a mess, I learned that I can pinch my younger brother to make him cry and I could quickly run to the other room and run back in looking all concerned as my little darling brother was crying . There was nothing I cared about, and I was not expected to, I did what my heart said, I guess, my brain was only helping me with instant non sense.

Age 5 to 10 - I went to school, don't know what was happening, teacher said "A for Apple" and "Two Times Three is Six", and I believed it. Learnt to make friends, learned to complain, learnt that there is a variety of food beyond what my mother cooked. I learnt to use a fork to eat noodles. My teacher helped me discover the world, various continents, cities and it's peoples. When I came home to tell my dad that we live in a continent called Asia, he said he already knew about it!.

Age 10 to 15 - Learnt that I had stage fear, realized the friends can be enemies too, dad said "work hard and be competitive, you got to top the exams", I liked literature, I liked art, dad said "no way, there is no money in it, how are you going to feed your family", teachers told my parents that I was a good student, but I must work harder, dad said, "10th standard is the most important milestone and you get only one chance at it, so don't waste time". I wanted to learn to play the guitar, my dad wanted me to get trained on vocals, issue is unresolved to this date!. This was my initiation into Peer Pressure and the Rat Race.

Age 15 to 20 - "What are you going to do now? Engineering? Medicine? you must take up Science and prepare for the Entrance Tests", I told dad, I want to be a mechanic as I love automobiles, dad completed my admission formalities to study Electrical & Electronics Engineering in an Engineering College. New life, new friends, new freedom, professors are not bothered if I am present or absent in their class, they were there to do their job, i.e., deliver their lecture and get going. It is here I learnt that "teachers were working for money too", the picture of a teacher, a Guru who was preparing us to change the world was shattered. Staying in a college hostel, I realized, I have to live on a budget, bills had to be paid in time. I learned how to make five hundred rupees last for a month.

Age 20 to 25 - "Hey, you know this great IT company, they pay a big salary, they depute you around the world to work, you get to earn in Dollars, we should get IT jobs", another line of thought, "who cares for a job anyway, let's get done with Engineering first and then think what next", get a CV ready, do a software course and be ready when Companies come to the Campus, got a job, realized that it takes 10 days of work to earn Rs.1,000 and I have pay 10% of my earnings to the Government as Tax, but in college, all it would take is a phone call to dad, a cheque would arrive in 3 days. Learned that there is something called "Job Satisfaction" and I also learned that I was not satisfied!, learned to switch jobs, learned that interviews are just meetings where my interviewer is telling me that I am unfit for the job and I am trying to convince him otherwise!.

Age 25 to 30 - Have to earn more money, have to buy that cool red bike, just like my friend's, need a bigger room to stay, need a computer so I can browse the net when I get home. Have to try out swanky restaurants, watch movies, "Friday Dressing" sounds cool, I need a new wardrobe, hey you checked the new mobile phone? need that as well. How do I fund all this, it's easy, switch jobs. I wanted to make a statement that I had arrived and I needed a lifestyle to prove it. "Dad, I earn more than you!", I said, dad smiled.

Age 30 to 35 - Got married, disposable income got multiplied by 2. Need an apartment now, buy one, get a promotion, buy a car, daughter is born, watch her grow. Wife is busy taking pictures, making albums and shopping for the kid, while I tagged along figuring out what it would take to keep up with the expenses. As new parents we are trying to teach the kid to walk, to talk, to behave and what not, I now realize what my dad did for me. It's time to settle down, my outlook changed from a "Job" to a "Career", I am looking for stability, I am looking for work-life balance.

Age 35 to 40 - Which school is she going to go? Planning for my daughter's education, buy insurance polices, save for her education, plan for our retirement, "spread the risk", said the investment consultant, he said I should invest in stocks now, wife wants to buy jewelry because prices of Gold dropped by Rs.20 per gram, "what the hell? you want me to spend over Rs.100,000 to save Rs.800!, it's ridiculous", man will this ever end? Where's "my life"?

~ o ~ o ~ o ~

I don't know what life has in store for me. For once I have concluded that I won't have "my life" again, at least not in the next 3 decades or so, that is if I live that long!. The only time I did what I wanted to do was when I was less than 5 years old, I was living "My Life", but I didn't know it then!, after that it was predominantly doing what my parents wanted, what my teachers wanted, what my friends wanted, what my boss wanted. what my wife wanted, now it is what my daughter wants...

Now that I realize that "My Life" is my family, my friends and my work, then why complain? I should try to be happy to live for others in my life...

What I learnt from my Mother: Responsibility

When I was a kid, I used to feel important when my parents would assign some tasks to me, like watering the plants everyday or bringing the newspaper and milk bottles from our door-step every morning. I remember very clearly, that I would perform each of my tasks for a few days and then either lose interest or get lazy and then forgot all about it only to find out many weeks later, that my mother had "assumed the responsibilities" of my tasks....

There was not a single day, when my mother would forget to make breakfast on a Sunday or chose to skip doing the laundry because it was a National Holiday!

My mother would ask me, my brother and my dad, what we would like to eat the next day and carefully plan every night how she is going to fulfill our wishes for "tomorrow". There is not a single day that I remember of, when my mother did not fulfill a "reasonable" demand!

Another interesting fact that I remember about my mother is that, I don't recall my mother falling sick or being too sick to cook, there was always something to eat when I was hungry.

What I learnt from my mother was RESPONSIBILITY and that

• Responsibility is ABSOLUTE! - there are no ifs and buts, no National Holidays, no breaks and no vacations. 
• Responsibility is not a 9 to 6 job! - it is a 24x7 job. 
• When one takes up a Responsibility, it better get done, because someone is depending on you to do it. 
• Responsibility does not need "Comfortable Working Conditions" or "Encouraging and Supportive Customers", only an iron will to do a great job at all costs.
• Responsibility is a Thankless Job! - don't expect a pat in the back for each successful attempt, get on to the next task as soon as possible.
• There are no Shortcuts when one takes up a Responsibility! - the involvement and commitment required is 100% - no one likes a half cooked meal.
• Anything that prevents one from executing the Responsibility is just an Excuse! and not a Reason.
• Most important thing about Responsibility is that one feels for the task or the group of people. The "Brain" follows the "Heart" when a responsibility is involved.

An amazing lesson, valid at home and at work at all time. 

How I wish, we all implement these lessons at work, there will be no loss making companies and no dis-satisfied employees...

Empowerment

Empowerment is a very important and interesting aspect of Management. An action that plays a vital role in building teams, creating ownership and accountability within people, resulting in success of the team/project/organization.

From my experience, "Empowerment" is a very loosely used word, Managers think, they can empower people by...

• making an individual or a team responsible for a certain task
• giving an individual the power to take a decision
• giving an individual the authority to take a financial decision

This is not enough and this is not all.

In my opinion, true Empowerment comes from creating

• a good feeling for the team/organization: "I FEEL GOOD" Factor
• a sense of belonging in the organization/team: "I BELONG HERE" Factor
• an awareness of the vision and imparting knowledge: "I KNOW WHAT TO DO" factor

When people are empowered in the "True Sense", they demonstrate a sense of Responsibility, Ownership and Accountability for a task/project. They demonstrate initiative. They are proactive. The war is theirs and they celebrate each victory in a battle, however small the battle is. There is energy everywhere, people help each other, share knowledge and stay late just because their colleague is having a difficulty in his/her task. People come forward to ask for more work a week ahead.

This is not all, the organization starts seeing a difference, the defects are low, the customers are happy resulting in more business. There is prosperity.

I strongly recommend to Managers, to use the following steps to achieve "true" empowerment in their teams/organizations

1. Treat people well
2. Impart Knowledge
3. Bestow responsibility

Treating People Well

This is the first and the most important step in empowerment. "Treating people well" is not always achieved by talking nicely to them or greeting them or accepting anything and everything that an employee has to say.

Managers have to encourage them, inspire them, trust them, listen to them and acknowledge their achievements.

Encouragement comes from saying kind words and being supportive when people are down. Kind words of encouragement fills team members with a strange confidence to do the "undoable". The team member does wonders with his/her task.

A word of caution:

• the maturity of the individual plays a very important role in "Treating people well". An individual with high maturity will respond positively to encouragement and kind words, the ones with low maturity will go around boasting that the Manager is his/her friend and will not hurt him even if he/she makes a mistake. Managers have to study their people's maturity and then act. I have seen admonishment, a bit of embarrassment and then saying the kind words of encouragement works with people with lower maturity levels in most cases. 
• High maturity usually results in high commitment in individuals and these kind of people work with good intentions,  managers need to be supportive and encouraging, these people feel bad, when they make a mistake, these people usually accept admonishment as a punishment for wrong doing, but they cannot and will not appreciate humiliation or embarrassment. These people will leave the company if they are subjected to humiliation.
  

Impart Knowledge

Step 2 deals with training people, providing them knowledge, tools and techniques that come handy in day to day activities.

There are two types of Managers who impart knowledge:

• Type 1: Most managers have a unique way of dealing with tasks and situations. These are techniques that they have read in books, used and perfected over time. These managers usually have better success in step 2 of empowerment as they are closer to ground realities, they know more about the project, product and processes and have a better relationship with their teams.
• Type 2: Some managers, however, go by the book. They are better "read" than the "Type 1" managers, they are loosely related to their teams, the project, the product and the processes. These Managers will have a tendency to implement a Six Sigma Technique that was successful in another company, without showing consideration to the current organization, it's maturity, it's people, it's people's maturity or the product requirement. These managers try to implement systems with "Mission Critical robustness" when it is not required, just because some "Guru" appreciated this technique. These Managers have a lower chance at success in imparting knowledge as most people in their team just don't understand what this person is saying or where he is coming from.
  

Imparting knowledge means, "showing them the way", by telling them:

• What to do
• How to do it
• How to Measure
• Take necessary Actions (based on the measurements to minimize deviations)
• How to Share Knowledge with others in the team

This is a classic Plan-Do-Check-Act cycle first stated by Deming, PLUS knowledge sharing.

Managers need not define everything by themselves, they may get their key team members to participate and define the tasks, the process, measurements and the possible actions to take when deviations occur. This way, the key players themselves will own the process and train others on the process that they defined.

Bestow Responsibility

Once the team members are trained, the Managers must share responsibility of the project along with key players in the team. An announcement must be made to let everyone know, so that other team members know whom to approach, when required. A formal announcement, makes team members proud and gives them a sense of responsibility. Their pride helps them contribute to the project objectives and goals.

Once a person is made responsible, the Manager must stand by this individual under all circumstances. Great leaders acknowledge the success of the individual and make it known to all. A failure is also handled, thru' escalation, and thru' counseling to the individual, reassuring him/her, that this happens and that it can be overcome. The counseling should be kept private.

The act of bestowing responsibility fails when the Manager resorts to "Success is mine and failure is yours" philosophy. In these cases, the person will never accept responsibility from this manager again.

Where managers go wrong is when, they call a certain team member to their office, and tell him/her that he/she is responsible for a certain process and keep the act of bestowing responsibility private. This way, the person never really accepts the responsibility, even if he/she does, he/she does not get the support from other team members to execute the responsibility. This results in frustration and disgruntlement in the employee, he/she is unable to live up to the expectation of his/her manager and the manager holds him/her responsible for the failure, while, the failure is really the Manager's, who could have turned this situation around by merely making an announcement and showing his/her support to the cause.

To Summarize, empowerment, when done properly, works wonders and helps building great teams. Great teams produce great products, great products result in great revenues for the company. The manager must acknowledge success and attribute to individuals and also standby and accept responsibility if things go wrong.