Where's "My Life"?

One evening, I sat down thinking how long I have come, what "I was" and what "I am" and stopped at the question --- "Am I doing what -- I -- want to do?", the answer was "not everything I do is what I want to do", which led me to another question, "Where's -- My -- Life?". To seek the answer, I started out evaluating my life 5 years at a time, starting from the day I was born. Here's the train of my thoughts...

Age 0 to 5 -  For the first 5 years of my life I slept when I wanted to, ate when I wanted, played when I wanted. My home was my world. Everyone I knew, my parents, my grand parents were all special, the person I was with, was the most important at that moment in time. I tore up news papers, broke my toys, learned to stand and walk, learned to talk, learned that I can attract attention by throwing a tantrum, realized that I can melt mom, but dad was tougher. I learned to use my mother's lap as my bed, learned to make a mess, I learned that I can pinch my younger brother to make him cry and I could quickly run to the other room and run back in looking all concerned as my little darling brother was crying . There was nothing I cared about, and I was not expected to, I did what my heart said, I guess, my brain was only helping me with instant non sense.

Age 5 to 10 - I went to school, don't know what was happening, teacher said "A for Apple" and "Two Times Three is Six", and I believed it. Learnt to make friends, learned to complain, learnt that there is a variety of food beyond what my mother cooked. I learnt to use a fork to eat noodles. My teacher helped me discover the world, various continents, cities and it's peoples. When I came home to tell my dad that we live in a continent called Asia, he said he already knew about it!.

Age 10 to 15 - Learnt that I had stage fear, realized the friends can be enemies too, dad said "work hard and be competitive, you got to top the exams", I liked literature, I liked art, dad said "no way, there is no money in it, how are you going to feed your family", teachers told my parents that I was a good student, but I must work harder, dad said, "10th standard is the most important milestone and you get only one chance at it, so don't waste time". I wanted to learn to play the guitar, my dad wanted me to get trained on vocals, issue is unresolved to this date!. This was my initiation into Peer Pressure and the Rat Race.

Age 15 to 20 - "What are you going to do now? Engineering? Medicine? you must take up Science and prepare for the Entrance Tests", I told dad, I want to be a mechanic as I love automobiles, dad completed my admission formalities to study Electrical & Electronics Engineering in an Engineering College. New life, new friends, new freedom, professors are not bothered if I am present or absent in their class, they were there to do their job, i.e., deliver their lecture and get going. It is here I learnt that "teachers were working for money too", the picture of a teacher, a Guru who was preparing us to change the world was shattered. Staying in a college hostel, I realized, I have to live on a budget, bills had to be paid in time. I learned how to make five hundred rupees last for a month.

Age 20 to 25 - "Hey, you know this great IT company, they pay a big salary, they depute you around the world to work, you get to earn in Dollars, we should get IT jobs", another line of thought, "who cares for a job anyway, let's get done with Engineering first and then think what next", get a CV ready, do a software course and be ready when Companies come to the Campus, got a job, realized that it takes 10 days of work to earn Rs.1,000 and I have pay 10% of my earnings to the Government as Tax, but in college, all it would take is a phone call to dad, a cheque would arrive in 3 days. Learned that there is something called "Job Satisfaction" and I also learned that I was not satisfied!, learned to switch jobs, learned that interviews are just meetings where my interviewer is telling me that I am unfit for the job and I am trying to convince him otherwise!.

Age 25 to 30 - Have to earn more money, have to buy that cool red bike, just like my friend's, need a bigger room to stay, need a computer so I can browse the net when I get home. Have to try out swanky restaurants, watch movies, "Friday Dressing" sounds cool, I need a new wardrobe, hey you checked the new mobile phone? need that as well. How do I fund all this, it's easy, switch jobs. I wanted to make a statement that I had arrived and I needed a lifestyle to prove it. "Dad, I earn more than you!", I said, dad smiled.

Age 30 to 35 - Got married, disposable income got multiplied by 2. Need an apartment now, buy one, get a promotion, buy a car, daughter is born, watch her grow. Wife is busy taking pictures, making albums and shopping for the kid, while I tagged along figuring out what it would take to keep up with the expenses. As new parents we are trying to teach the kid to walk, to talk, to behave and what not, I now realize what my dad did for me. It's time to settle down, my outlook changed from a "Job" to a "Career", I am looking for stability, I am looking for work-life balance.

Age 35 to 40 - Which school is she going to go? Planning for my daughter's education, buy insurance polices, save for her education, plan for our retirement, "spread the risk", said the investment consultant, he said I should invest in stocks now, wife wants to buy jewelry because prices of Gold dropped by Rs.20 per gram, "what the hell? you want me to spend over Rs.100,000 to save Rs.800!, it's ridiculous", man will this ever end? Where's "my life"?

~ o ~ o ~ o ~

I don't know what life has in store for me. For once I have concluded that I won't have "my life" again, at least not in the next 3 decades or so, that is if I live that long!. The only time I did what I wanted to do was when I was less than 5 years old, I was living "My Life", but I didn't know it then!, after that it was predominantly doing what my parents wanted, what my teachers wanted, what my friends wanted, what my boss wanted. what my wife wanted, now it is what my daughter wants...

Now that I realize that "My Life" is my family, my friends and my work, then why complain? I should try to be happy to live for others in my life...

Career

One question I always ask myself when I think of my Title & my role in the company, "Why am I, where I am?"

The answer: my company hired me by evaluating my skills and my experience. They brought me onboard to execute some responsibilities and contribute to the organization's objectives. They brought me onboard because they felt I was the right choice for the role.

Now the ball is in my court, I must deliver what I was chosen for. This is the difficult part, but not impossible.

Primarily there are two types of companies that I have come across, a) those that have clearly defined goals for each role and b) those who don't have clearly defined goals for various roles.

The first type of company is more mature and their expectations from the employees are clear, example: established large organizations. The latter type are a little lower on maturity, example: start ups. When I say "maturity", I mean maturity of the organization and not of the people. The maturity of the people does not depend on the maturity of the organization and vice versa.

I have worked in both types of organizations and have had some difficulties in the latter type. The difficulties, more or less, were self created and not the fault of the company or it's management. It was I, who did not understand the expectations and was expecting the goals to be in black & white, where it was not possible.

Large organizations have most of the business processes streamlined and hence the exposure of the individual is more focussed and within his/her role. In start-ups, the business processes are not yet mature, hence the people are required to perform on a cross functional level rather than a focussed set of responsibilities, hence resulting in a much bigger exposure to the employees.

It is important to ascertain your strengths and weaknesses, identify what is important to you and what is not, from the career perspective. Example: in my case, my strengths are communication, process definition & implementation, team building and leadership. My weaknesses are software programming and software design. Things that are most important to me are "Planning and executing", "getting the job done with maximum efficiency", "learning", "application of knowledge", "finding new solutions to old problems" and "variety of tasks & multi-tasking" to name a few.

The key is to en-cash on your strengths, work on your weaknesses and get what you want in a career.

One mistake most people make is linking "the job" with "the compensation". The problem with this mistake is that it gives you the results (good or bad) after a long time.

For example, a programmer in Visual Basic decides SAP is the way ahead based on the money his friends are making by working on SAP. When one of my team members comes to me asking for a change in "platform", I acknowledge his/her request and the need for a change, but I also try and figure out why the person is asking for a change, most time, the reason is compensation. It is difficult to get this out of a person, but cross examination often gives me results. I don't try and change this person's mind, because there is not point, I would be "the enemy" in no time.

I always ask them one question, "if I buy a brand new car, and if you ask me to let you drive this new car, would I give it to you?" Most people say I would, then I ask them, "why would I give the car to you?", for this they reply, "because you trust me". Then I tell them my answer, "I won't let you drive my brand new car, because I don't trust your driving skills". By this time, the person is confused, and is wondering what point I am trying to make. I explain, "analogy of the car situation is the change of platform situation, I am not in a position to allow you to work on a new technology unless I am sure you are good at it".

This is how the people react:

a) Some people buy this thought, take it positively and work towards earning a change without compromising on their current responsibilities and become more efficient in the process. This improved efficiency gives them a lot of time to spend on learning a new skill.

b) A few others, think I am wrong and start seeking a new job just to show me that they were right and I was wrong. In this bargain, they start losing focus on their current assignments, lose interest and ultimately they become desperate and lose out finally.

c) Some give up, and get back to the job.

Building a career is not a joke, one must be careful, cautious and do some analysis before one makes up his/her mind. This may take time, be patient. I have taken almost 15 years to make my career. In these 15 years, I did not once compromise on my current job, I gave it my best each time, getting better at it and feeling good about it. I chose to do my job because it was earning my bread & butter.

A career is what you make of it. It is an individual's responsibility and not the organization's! The company has hired me to do a job and I must do it. My company will invest in a training for me if it enhances my skill and ability to perform my current tasks. For a C++ programmer, the company may invest in a OOAD course, as it is will add a design skill to the programmer, it will give him/her the ability to perform at a higher level. If this programmer, tells the company that he/she needs a training on Astrophysics because he/she loves the subject, will the company invest. The answer is "NO", it will not.

It is the individual's responsibility to build one's skill, ability and competitive advantage. Once you have these qualities, the boss will give your request an ear and try and do something for you because you are worth it. If you are the best in a skill, and continue to deliver consistently, the company will not think twice before giving you more responsibilities and investing in you, hence building your career, but you have to make that beginning.